Impermanence

Hi,

Life is impermanent, including our friends, family, jobs, careers, children, homes, identity, loves, bodies, and minds. I spent most of my life hanging on to permanence and the safety of things staying the same. It took a turn of events in my career and with family to learn that trying to pretend life is permanent is like shoving a square peg into a round hole.

Japanese culture has a philosophy that originated in Zen Buddhism. It is founded on the belief that everything, even objects, is impermanent, incomplete, and imperfect.

Wabi — the beauty of simplicity

Sabi — the passing of time and subsequent deterioration

At almost 63, I’m the youngest of four children raised in the 60s and 70s, the product of divorce, a partier of the 80s, a wife, the mother of two, a Bubbe, a serial employee always looking for an opportunity to serve, an entrepreneur, a coach, a writer, and a perpetual squirrel hunter.

Nomadic Life

I’ve lived in 24 homes in 11 locations, including New York, California, Hawaii, back to California, South Carolina, North Carolina, and now Costa Rica. Each move shaped who I am today. From the privilege of Scarsdale, NY, surviving sexual assault to raising myself in San Francisco to finding love and building a family, each place taught me resilience and adaptability. My journey has been a testament to the impermanence of life, constantly evolving and embracing new beginnings.

Of the 24 homes, 15 have been with James, and four have been in different

locations — California, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Costa Rica.

My mother was a nomad, so I guess I came to it naturally. There’s something about taking off and landing. I love taking off, landing, and taking off again. There’s always a new adventure, new people to meet, new relationships, new sites to see, and new daily experiences. James and I plan to keep taking off and landing until the impermanence of our bodies or minds, or both, keeps us grounded. When that day comes, I plan on being grateful for all the times we took off together and the landings, no matter how bumpy they were.

Family Impermanence

Family has always been impermanent for me. I learned from an early age that there is always someone in my family who is angry or victimized and not talking to someone else. Maybe it’s a little of the Eastern Jewish mindset. I don’t know. I was part of this in my late 20s. I hurt someone, and I paid a horrible price for it and never chose it again.

Impermanence — A Way of Relationships

Maintaining relationships is challenging when people differ in their approach to life and willingness to be wrong, vulnerable, honest, and communicate. Some can navigate these differences, while others find it more difficult.

This isn’t something to feel sorry about. I imagine many are in similar situations. Through my takeoffs, I’ve created many friendships that I cherish. My connections across different homes and locations have made my life better. It's not always about a blood connection.

I live today with love and acceptance for my family — who they were and are, what they could and can do and not do, and their strengths and weaknesses. To love myself is to love them.

Embracing Impermanence

The point of impermanence is not about the length of friendships or marriages. It’s about the constant change within them. Whether in a 30-year friendship or a 40-year marriage, we change — we win, we lose, we grow old, and each day brings a new reality. By accepting the impermanence of life, we can navigate our days with more acceptance and peace. Embracing impermanence means understanding that nothing is static. We adjust to the day's new reality and find stability within the flux.

Acceptance and Growth

It’s OK now. I’ve learned about impermanence and gained a healthier outlook on life, accepting it as a way of living and understanding that in every moment of now, I create permanence only in a moment. I’ve learned (and still practice daily) to love these moments.

Freelancing and Impermanence

Freelancing fits seamlessly into a life of impermanence. It has taught me to embrace the present, be adaptable, and find stability within the constant flux. Each project and client is a moment of connection and creation, a testament to the beauty of impermanence.

For those who live joyfully in the ever-changing flow of life or are trying to, freelancing provides the flexibility to move with the tides. It allows freedom to take off and land whenever the spirit calls.

If you’ve always felt the pull of a nomadic life but haven't accepted it due to fear of judgment, ridicule, or doing something wrong, freelancing might be the path that harmonizes with your desire for movement and change.

If you haven’t felt the pull but see the tides changing, freelancing can be a path to taking care of life through the changes.

Wabi Sabi and Impermanence

Wabi Sabi, the Japanese philosophy embracing the beauty of simplicity and the passage of time, beautifully encapsulates the essence of impermanence. By accepting that everything is incomplete and imperfect, we can find peace and appreciation in the present moment.

Embracing impermanence allows us to see the beauty in each fleeting moment and appreciate the journey rather than clinging to permanence. It’s a way of life requiring daily practice that can bring acceptance, peace, and a deeper connection to the world around us.

By embracing life's impermanence and beauty, I hope you find perfection in imperfections and joy in the ever-changing process.

Peace and love,

Jeanne